I am not mad. I will not get mad. Bothered, yes. Momentarily. Skipped a beat is all in the grander scheme of things. Even so, it was a much needed step I had to take, miss step though it was in order to get back to doing and being me. Indeed. Mad? Me? No, not mad at all.
I try to believe that what I am hearing is real, that you are real and that this is real but Deep, deep in my inner most being there lies my truth. When I take a moment, as I will seldom do, To listen to the cry of my soul, I hear that truth. It lies deep within me but my truth is drowned out and all I hear is the echo of despair and I remain lost to myself. Where is my rescue? It is within me. I know this. I know it is only I that can save me. If I want. If I choose. If I believe. Deep deep within me, in my inner most being there does lie my truth. It waits for me. But alas, I have surrendered to the lies no less. Bitter sweet that I know it, with remorse that I ignore it. Lost unto myself, within myself I am lost from myself.